Two years ago today, God gave me a miraculous spiritual healing while taking a shower. I’m happy to report that the changes begun in that instant are still continuing. But it hasn’t been easy.
These last two years have been spent shedding delusion – about God, the Church, and mainly about myself. I had basically been living in a world of fantasy all my life, as an escape to the demon on my back. Before I could find my way, I had to shed a lot of crap. Mainly about what I truly deserve – like Eleanor on The Good Place (3rd season premiere tomorrow night! Hot diggity dog!) I’ve been expecting a moral dessert, good things to happen because of the hell I’ve been through. Like her, it’s been tough realizing what a monster I’ve been.
At the time, I naively thought that the clergy abuse crisis to which I had devoted my life was winding down. Women who had been abused by males who weren’t priests took their turn on the media stage, as is right and proper. So the #MeToo movement and the evangelical #Churchtoo movement which makes no reference to the struggle in the Catholic Church, seemed to be clear proof of this.
Those scandals generated by their disclosures build their own momentum. But now the Catholic Church’s darker secrets began to be revealed as the structure slowly collapses. There’s a lot of hurt, angry, and confused Catholics out there wrestling with the lies they’ve been told by the hierarchy. So I set up a website devoted to the crisis, Clergy Victims Memorial, but events have been moving on too big a scale to keep track,
Something positive needs to be done. The Catholic Church having miserably failed, it is up to believers to find another way to God. Determined not to fall for what other people told me, my way has been to closely read Scripture to search out what God has really been up to all these millennia. And along with the Good Book, I also started reading the earliest Fathers of the Church to see how doctrines grew and changed.
And it hasn’t been in vain. Yes, there are secrets in the Bible, and there is also a method the Bible lays out to discover them. Moreover, the Early Fathers understood these techniques, which is why their writings are full of an astonishing wealth of images and insights. They achieved deep spiritual understanding by interpreting everything in the Bible according to what I call the figurative code. Here I intend to present my discoveries of these methods, even as I record the inevitable collapse of Catholicism at Clergy Victims Memorial.
Both are signs, I believe, that time is short and the End hastens towards us. Listen! Can you not hear the trump of doom in the distance?
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